Lovin' life

So – I think we do a pretty good job keeping it all together.  There are moments when I sit back and think about the lives of my friends.  Most are single w/o kids.  I recently tried to imagine their obligations, their days, how they spend their money.  It was amazing.  Not really because I realized that they have days when they have nothing to do.   Not even because I had a hunch they had money or vacation time that I didn’t.   I didn’t even feel jealous (much).  

The thing that really got me was how much I didn’t realize we had on our plates.   I never imagined how much work it is to raise three kids.  I never stopped to think of any life other than my own. It is not that it is all that tough – I would argue with anyone that they could handle the day to day.  Especially if we used TV. 

But even without that – Law school is a lot.  Brendan is carrying a lot on his shoulders.  Ten years older than the average bear really does mean something when it comes to obligations, maturity, and ability to tolerate crap.  These kiddos get their stress relief through sex, drugs and rock n’ roll.   Poor Brendan has to do it through Dora the Explorer and 17 loads of laundry a week. 

Ok, Strip away that.  Day care is a lot.  Managing that relationship is a lot.  This is someone who is engaging with your kids more hours per week than you do.  Someone who is teaching them the foundational skills that will be with them for the rest of their lives.  Someone who is taking in more of my money monthly than any other bill.  Someone who has 8 other children and their complicated lives to manage in addition to ours. 

Ok, fine – take that away… We own a 100+ year old house that needs attention.  We have a car that needs attention.  We have neighbors that need attention.  We have household stuff to attend to.  We have jobs, friends, family, doctors appointments, museum memberships, classes.  It is enough to make your head spin.   There is a lot going on.  

The funny thing is – I didn’t notice it.  It really took me taking the time to really think about the lives of others to notice that ours might possibly be less than perfect.  I tried to imagine why I come off as a flake sometimes.  I really do mean to get out and do things.  To read a book, to go out for a coffee, to meet someone for dinner.   We do a pretty good job of making it happen – but it isn’t perfect. 

I am going to start letting go of my need for perfection.  It is what it is.  I have a beautiful family.  They are well fed, well educated and well played.  I may not have the most flexible schedule in the world – but I do have the most amazing family in the world.  Five minutes of playing with them and the rest of the stresses melt away.