Earthquakes

Did you hear the news?  There was an earthquake in Japan.  This probably wouldn’t have been HUGE news to our babies in ordinary circumstances.  I mean, what is the context?  Why would we show them that kind of devastation?  But, these were not ordinary times. 

We hosted an exchange student for a month.  From where you ask?  From Japan of course.  So, in the AM, the girls caught wind of the earthquake when Brendan informed Misato.  They learned a little about that, enough to bring to day care and ask more questions.   

Well, this must be a difficult position as the provider.  The kids clearly had some insight into this catastrophe.  They want to know more.  She knows that we teach the girls about all kinds of things.  So – what was she to do?  Show them more photos. 

This resulted in the girls coming home keyed up.  Totally nervous, and interested and confused.  B came in saying “there was an earthquake in Misato’s hometown.”  Over and over and over again.  And again.  I have never seen anything like that from her.  Running, screaming, nervous.  I tried to push it off.  I tried to just say “no B, it isn’t her home town.  Her country, but not her town.”  I repeated this several times – back to back, countering her chant with my own.   After about 5x, I realized it was silly.  

Attempt #2.  I sat down.  I said B- tell me your questions or concerns.  She said “It was in Japan!  I need to see a map.” So we got out the easel and drew a map.  We showed her the difference.  A little calmer, she said “what about her family?”  Great- we discussed the family, friends… everyone was OK.   

Then she said “There WAS AN earthquake” still hyper, and then said “but everyone we know is ok.” 

Deescalated.  She gave Misato a pat on the arm and moved on.  On the way out of the room she said “thanks Mom, it helps to know all the information.” 

It is always hard to take the time.  I find myself trying to reason with the children, trying to explain the logical reason why things are the way they are.  And then… when that doesn’t work it hits me.  They aren’t old enough for that.  They need to be listened to instead of talked to.  When I remember how to be a good parent, it works smashingly.  Thankfully, toddlers give you that extra step of time to be able to try the second technique.  It will probably be different with three teenagers.   Oh…2021.  How I fear you.