Watch what you teach

6 months late... but I seem to find some time on my hands.

We were getting ready for swimming one night.  I was stressed.  Swimming is kind of a tricky thing.  It is something that we can't be too early for because there is a class before us and it is hard to keep kids out of a pool.  We can't come late because it is a short class, and we would miss a lot.  Not to mention the fact that Auntie and Nana are in the class before us and greet us in their suits.  Not polite to keep them cold and waiting.  I have mentioned this swimming thing before.  High stress to get going, but high reward.

So here I was, pregnant and stressed.  I tried to feed the girls something simple.  I don't remember what it was, but I do remember thinking that it was not a meal that Brendan would approve of.  Let's say it was garbanzo beans, cheese sticks, peas and rice.  Remember, I said it was simple.  The goal was to NOT have a fight and for them to get some pieces of what they needed so they wouldn't freak out at the pool.  Well, Ms. A would have none of it.  She refused to sit down, she refused to eat and I may have yelled a bit.  Ok, I yelled.  I said: "LISTEN A, SIT DOWN AND EAT YOUR MEAL."  Now this was to a) avoid freak outs in the pool b) to remain on schedule and c)so there were no leftovers for Brendan to see.  He makes fun of me a bit when I don't COOK dinner.  Anyway.  We went back and forth and then this little 3 yo comes over to me and says "listen mom.  Please calm down.  I am not going to eat the food, so you should just stop yelling about it.  I will probably be hungry, I know I won't get the snack after swimming, so take it out of the bag.  I am just not going to eat, so calm down and move on."  

Let me tell you.  My reaction in my head was not: "wow, what a nice girl that is.  She was polite, expressed her needs, thought out the consequences of her decision.  I am clearly doing the right thing."  Nope.  The thought in my head was something more resembling: "Did that little punk just tell me to CALM DOWN?  I AM CALM.  EAT YOUR DINNER."  I took a deep breath and said "thanks honey for using your words."  I took that snack right out of the bag and said I am sorry in advance for how hungry you are going to be.  

You know what?  She survived swimming.  She even got to the car and passed the snacks to the other girls.  She was very very hungry and asked the other girls if they would share.  They said no.  She slumped her shoulders and said OK then.   I came prepared. I offered to share my banana.  I didn't think this was a win for her because she doesn't love bananas.  In fact, I don't think she would eat one any other day of the week.  But this day, she said "sure mom, we can share.  Take your bites first so that I don't take too much."  

What a nice kid.  Freaks me out sometimes what great skills they have.  It also freaks me out some what a jerk I can be in my mind.  At least it all stays there. For now.