So I was in the break room at work the other day and came across an article for one of the child development classes that was discussing how kids don't just intuitively "get" race. Everyone talks about raising kids in a global culture and hoping that they will just be "color blind."
Great in theory, but not in practice. Kids notice everything. They see that one person's skin is a different color than theirs. Heck, my ladies are concerned with who has the same eye color as they do. B was very calmed the day that I came home with my hair straightened. Now I "had hair like her and Auntie Elizabeth." They are comforted by familiarity.
One day at an appointment, B and A were chasing down these two boys from Somalia. B called to them. She thought she knew them. They were similar, I guess, to two kids in ECFE. In that they were about the same age and from the same country. But these kiddos were definitely not the ones she was thinking of. Bam. My smart, super observant kids - the ones who would notice if you parted your hair on the different side of your face - suddenly think all black people look the same.
That was all the push I needed. We started to talk about race. I am not great at it, it is actually a very weird conversation to have. I don't know what to say or how to say it, but I guess this is good practice for the birds and the bees...? Whatever. We look at books and talk about people who are different colors, we talk about our friends, our neighbors - whoever. Super. I am doing my part.
Enter a day in the community. We head off to take Auntie to swimming class. We are at Oxford pool which is at Jimmy Lee Recreation center in the Old Rondo neighborhood of St. Paul. It is a beautiful center with a great pool and fab resources. I think I only had the big two that day. We signed Auntie in and were waiting in the commons area. It was us, Hi Ho Cherry Oh! and about 12 5th graders. Now, that is a party. The 5th graders were... being 5th graders. They were chatting, arguing and talking back to each other. B went right over to them, looked up (but not too far that tall duck) at them and said "you stop that sassy talk right now." All heads turn to me. What the heck? The rec center guy shook his head and said "little lady has a lot of nerve standing up to a group of black kids like that." Time for a change of activity.
We move into the gym where there is a volleyball game in progress. Jimmy Lee vs. Miriam park. Now, if there was going to be a race divide across teams, this was certainly going to be the game. I went in with the thought that the game would be just as eye opening as the basketball game was. I guess it was - but in a totally different way. You see - junior high volleyball is boring. One person hits - maybe someone hits it back. Then it stops. Then we start again. Not so interesting.
There was a mom there that was joking with me about the Miriam Park girls looking like they were college students. I laughed and said "maybe so.." It took me an inordinate amount of time to figure out that she figured I was a parent of the other girls. Clearly not a parent on her team. I felt a little dumb. Then B came into the conversation. She of course picked up just where the conversation left off. She informed the woman that "she was black." Duh right? I was nervous about where she was going. And she kept going: "you are black and that is ok." The lady looks at me. "We are all the same on the inside you know. You and I are both beautiful." I was a little tense. Yes, this is what I said - but I didn't really think it would be spelled out in such a public way.
Thankfully, the woman rolled with Ms. B. She said "yes we are. That is totally true." Whew. We are all the same on the inside. If this has taught me anything it is that I need to practice now for the sex talk. I am so not ready! Oh well. At least we have the concept down now that a) everyone is different - they should be who they are and b) who they are is beautiful and we should respect that.
4 comments:
Great post. My only comment is that it's not so well-believed that it's good to be color blind. Current thoughts are that it is only white people who think it's good, and that is only due to their white privilege. People of color and white people aware of their privilege tend to think we must continue to recognize color in order to maintain awareness of and work against inequities. Just more to think about as these lovely challenging topics continue to arise.
I should have said it's only due to OUR white privilege, recognizing my own...
While it is not our plan to make "color blind" kids - I do think that it is still a widely held belief among us white folks that that is or would be the utopia.
Obviously in academia and other areas the tide has shifted, but because most people are unwilling or uncomfortable talking about race.
We should, but think the attitude is still "wouldn't it be easier if we didn't have to?"
We can talk more about this offline since it's just us bantering back and forth, but I really don't think it has anything to do with academia.
The fact is that a colored person never forgets their color, while white people never have to think about it and often forget. I believe this means it is important to recognize color so that we might continue to strive toward equity for all.
Post a Comment