Social Networking

I have this theory. I haven't studied it, but I do live it. It is this thought that you are strengthened as a little person by the robustness and diversity of the people in your life.  I have heard from others about the recommendation for families to shrink when you have a kid.  To pull in, focus on your core nuclear family and really make each interaction meaningful.  In reflection, that seems awesome, but it doesn't work for me.

To let you in on a little secret, know this: I am not the perfect example of a human being.  *shock* I am a darn great example, but not the only way you can take your life, your gifts, yourself and interact with the world.  I sure hope our kids turn out to be like us, and even to like us.  But there is no guarantee of that.

I want the girls to see 100’s of examples of humanity. I want them to interact with, to know, to love a multitude of people.  The more people they meet, the more often the get to have the opportunity to say “WOW! This world is amazing.”  We don’t often celebrate the people who are wonderful in our neighborhood.  We don’t take the time to tell people just how much they mean to us.  In my experience, we don’t create social networks the way we once did. 

Who is your local grocer? What is your librarian’s name? Who can water your plants and pick up your mail while you are out of town?  If your kids are locked out of the house, where can they go? We fear strangers, we avoid neighbors.  That isn't what we are looking for.  The strength of our bond is based on the strength of our community. 

I could make my own movie theater in my house. But there is a perfectly good one just a mile away.  I could build a playground in my own yard.  But I would miss out on the neighborhood ones.  A restaurant quality kitchen.  A library. A pool. An art gallery. For some reason we replicate public spaces in our own homes.  In doing that, we miss the most important part of the experience: the possibility to meet a new person and learn a new life story.  We miss the opportunity to share our lives with others.

In my estimation, children need to learn to trust people. They need to learn that their neighborhood is just that.  THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD.  They need to talk to the butcher, they need to know their librarian.  The girls need to bring May Day baskets to the neighbors, cookies to the fireman, walk to the park with a neighbor.  When they go to a store or studio, they need to talk to the artist, ask questions, make suggestions.   In doing that, they learn what they like, they learn how to do something, they learn why others choose to do what they do. In you living your life near them, they are reassured that they can also be whoever they want to be. 

Obviously, parents cannot be everything to every child.  Maybe the girls want to grow up to be Tai Chi masters, musicians, circus performers, farmers or philosophers.  I’m none of those things – but they exist in my network.  The more you see, the more you know that you get to be YOU, just YOU.  Sure… mom and dad might not get “it” but someone will.  You will have questions that you don’t want to ask mom, Auntie Sarah might know. Think Dad doesn't have time right now? Julien will spare a moment. Growing up, you might be unsure of who you are, or want to test out a new skill, theory or relationship.  What better place to do that than in a network of your 100 closest friends.  

In our family, your number one job is to take care of YOU first.  Sounds simple, but it is amazing how much this practice drives so much of the conversation.  You are the boss of you.  Make good choices, take charge.  Be who you want to be.  Think it is hard to do that? Of course it is.  But look around you, you are supported by a network of people who are doing, being, living and loving who they are.  They are doing it as completely and as honestly as they know how to. 

This spirit of self love and community is reflected in our social network, our family.  Do. Be. Celebrate all that makes you who you are.  And while you are doing that:  Love.  Love yourself. Love your neighbor. Love the earth. Love your community.